And I'm just dreaming again;

Why do I always end up here? I always end up feeling lonely and just wanting someone there to change that. For the first time I thought that I was finding that person I needed, that I was finally connecting to someone that could change everything. That could make me feel worth something; and someone that I could share my love with. However, now I'm not so sure that that's true. Everything that I thought was a sign that he was actually interested, may just have been simple acts of kindness. I'm the one who's turning it into these fantasies of soon to be kisses and moments spent together. None of it actually exists yet... and I'm wondering if any of it ever will. I just wish I wasn't looking for someone so... desperately! I mean because of this I could be missing someone that's right there in front of me. I just can't help it though. I meant to give love and happiness to another person; I'm meant to spend my life with someone. And every person I meet, I dream of them being that person. This battle is impossible and I feel as if I'm just going to be another causality, another thing forgotten. My heart aches and is missing something vital; or someone vital. I thought that by being around so many new people I'd finally work up my courage and confidence, but it's actually worsening. I hope that I'm just paranoid. I hope that my fears don't become my reality, or worse; I hope my fears don't ruin reality. I guess all I can do is wait and see... who knows. Anything can happen, right?