Just Waiting.

I'm sitting in the library during study hall right now and my mind can't rest. I can't help but think how none of this is what I really want. And right now I feel stuck. Stuck in the life I've created for myself. The more I reflect on the person I am, the more I realize that I'm the only one standing in the way of the person I want to be. I always feel so alone, so isolated from everyone and I've never really understood why. But I think I'm starting to figure it out; I'm the one pulling away. I'm pulling away from the life I've made because I know it isn't truly a hundred percent who I am. Yet I fail to express the person that really exists inside of me because I'm scared to admit who that person is. I'm afraid I won't be accepted, but mostly I'm afraid that I'll never be loved. And in my fear I'm creating this wall. This indestructible barrier that is slowly withdrawing me further and further away from reality. I'm just starting my adult life and I can't afford to live it any other way than being true to myself. We only get one shot at this whole thing, and I don't want to screw it up and live a life full of regrets. From this point on, I free myself from living life as a coward. I need to break out; I need to live. I want to experience so much of the world and that's never going to happen if I don't believe in myself. I need not be afraid of the what ifs in life, but to embrace all of life's certainties and thrive off of them. And one thing I will always know is that God will accompany me through my life. Through my mistakes and triumphs; I'll never be alone. So I have this to say to my readers; Please keep your head high and your dreams alive. No one can put a limit on you besides yourself. Remember that you're beautiful and you will never walk this Earth alone. Find the confidence in yourself to break out of your shell. Live life, laugh a lot, and enjoy this beautiful world that surrounds you everyday.